| A Bridge Too Far |
| Written by John Berling Hardy | |
| Sunday, 18 October 2009 | |
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Have you ever wondered how it is that there is a certain type of character, narcissistic to the core, almost comically over confidant and smug, who despite a lack of talent or virtue, seems to coast through life, achieving far more than those who surpass them in every way. From my time living in Budapest, I still have a fond recollection of a pair of stories reported in the local paper, which speak to this topic.
Have you ever wondered how it is that there is a certain type of character, narcissistic to the core, almost comically over confidant and smug, who despite a lack of talent or virtue, seems to coast through life, achieving far more than those who surpass them in every way. From my time living in Budapest, I still have a fond recollection of a pair of stories reported in the local paper, which speak to this topic. The first story concerned a young woman who went running in a residential area near to where she lived. During the course of her run she was suddenly attacked by a German Shepherd, which made a vicious assault upon her. The dog was tenacious, and she only escaped it after a prolonged chase by jumping into the Danube and swimming to safety. As it was winter and the water was cold the dog thought better of continuing its pursuit and turned back. The police were called and alerted to the incident, and some time later they found the owner of the dog, a former resident of the US now living in Budapest. When told about what his dog had done his only reaction was to snort and inquire why the girl had not escaped from it by climbing a telephone pole? The second story in the newspaper involved a businessman who set up an old construction crane on a bridge which spans the Tisza River and hung from it a bungee cord. He went into business, offering the opportunity to try bungee jumping from his crane, and his first customer was a middle-aged man named Akos, who had a reputation as something of a daredevil. As well as being the business' first customer, Akos had the singular distinction of also being its last. When he jumped from the bridge the stress exerted brought the crane down on top of him. By a miracle he survived his injuries and was expected to make a full recovery, with time. As absurd and tragic comedic as these stories may appear, they are very real portraits of players in action. The word "denial" has all sorts of unfortunate connotations, yet it is a necessary part of our psychological make-up. All of us live lives at least partly in denial, yet we tend to ignore this fact or work around it. We therefore end up denying our own denial - a necessary irony (albeit paradoxical), given the important role it plays in stabilising our minds. Denial allows us to filter out those elements in our society which we would rather not see. It acts as a manifestation of the saying "hear no evil...". Where the Players are concerned, they are so far in denial that there is more in life that they deny than that which they accept. Players exist in their own artificially contrived realities, denying the experiences of everyone else when they are at odds with what a player sees and feels and believes to be true. Where we retain some fixed, unchangeable ideas and ideals, the moral compass of a Player is always shifting. We can illustrate the effect of denial with the example of the paedophile. The terrible acts committed by Paedophiles sit incongruously with the image they often present to the world of respectability and virtue. To a paedophile, however, the two states are not mutually exclusive - by denying the horror of what they do, they embrace the value of what they pretend to be. It should come as no surprise to us that they often disguise themselves in the vestments of the priesthood. Even when brought to justice, many paedophiles see themselves as the wronged parties. They are narcissistic, and therefore difficult to rehabilitate. So convinced are they of their own virtue, and so convincingly do they portray it, that it becomes difficult to know when, if ever, they are truly repentant. The narcissist is characterised by a sense of entitlement and a propensity to be vindictive. He feels that anything he desires is his by rights. He does not distinguish between need and want - both are alike in his world. Among these "needs" to which he feels entitled is the desire to win at all costs. To lose makes him vindictive. But even winning is not enough for the narcissist. He is an eternally hungry creature, and gratitude is an alien emotion to him. When a narcissist wins he does not feel sated, but when he loses he quickly becomes enraged. The inflated sense of self-worth which characterises the narcissist makes him respond severely to any provocation. Once a narcissist feels he has been slighted or deprived of his winnings a rage will consume him which may last for years. If they are good at nothing else, narcissists know how to hold a grudge. And so we learn that Players are motivated by the need to win and to win big, as well as to look good while doing so. They believe themselves the supreme beings and consider themselves entitled to have their greed sated, yet that greed is insatiable, and so they go on yearning for more, unable to accept compromise or sacrifice a lesser goal to achieve a greater one. This makes them ultimately immovable. The Article Author: John Berling Hardy helps people reclaim their lives and revealing the tricks techniques which are being used them to manipulate them. For more of his writings please visit www.playingtheplayers.com |
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