| Tantra Guide For Men - How To Last Longer in Bed |
| Written by Hans Havasi | |
| Saturday, 29 August 2009 | |
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One of the questions most commonly asked after my lectures are "How can I learn to last longer in bed". Many men approach me asking me how they can learn to become better lovers and how to deal with problems such as premature ejaculation.
One of the questions most commonly asked after my lectures are "How can I learn to last longer in bed". Many men approach me asking me how they can learn to become better lovers and how to deal with problems such as premature ejaculation. Well, first of all, I will tell you guys out there suffering from premature ejaculation that you are not alone! I get these kind of questions from men of all nationalities and ages. We men naturally have this problem and I can ascribe it to the fact that compared to women, our sexuality is often less refined. Women's skin is twice as sensitive as the skin of men and they experience many more nuances of the orgasm than men do. We men tend to have one kind of orgasm which is the explosive one associated with our ejaculation. Women also involve themselves more in the sexual act as we men often tend to see the act as a release of tension. Women are also much more durable than men. In average, men make love for 7 minutes before ejaculating while a woman can last for hours. But fear not! We have been given certain keys we can apply so we can build up our sexualities to match those of women. There are many keys to learning this and different angles one could approach, but the main ones in my experience are the following: 1) Sensitivity - Men have to learn to become more sensitive 2) Masculinity - We need to become more virile in all senses of the word 3) Energy - we need to comprehend how the human energetic system is built up The best results come from using all keys simultaneously, though good results can come by studying one of the aspects alone. Step 1: Become More Sensitive Men need to focus very much on the foreplay. When the man sacrifices his own drive for gratification by focusing on the woman's needs in the foreplay, he will open his heart and sublimate (as it is called in Tantra) his sexual energy to the heart area. When the heart opens the skin becomes more open and sensitive. The heart and skin are both affective organs related with touch and emotion. When the mans heart is open, he is open to different kind of stimulation and he will become less focused on genital stimulation. Massage is another good way to make the man more sensitive and open. In the case of massage it should be mutual. The man should start massaging the woman to open her up and to open up his own affective energies. After massaging his partner the man should then receive massage from his loved one. This massage will relax him and distribute his sexual energy to the whole body. Step 2: Masculinity and virility Men should focus on building their masculinity if they want to last longer in bed. A man should be "virile" on all levels of being. Virility is not only the ability of sustaining an erection over a certain period. By virility I mean a power a man should have. Men should want to be strong, to know what he wants in life and to gain knowledge of how he can get what he wants. This brings a man in touch with his masculine core and when the man is in touch with this core he will polarize his woman to her feminine core. In couples where the man has become weak through lack of exercise, or ability to stand for what he believes the woman has to take over by becoming more masculine. This is against her deepest nature. This is easy to see nowadays. At our courses often the women sit straight actively listening while the men are lazily lying around cultivating a laid back attitude. It should be the opposite. The men should be the ones sitting with their backs straight asking all the questions, actively seeking to improve themselves and thereby become more powerful. Men should have a clear overview of the terrain. They should know where they are going and in which direction they want to take the couple relationship. They should fix their inner vision on their goals and put their beings and hearts into achieving these goals. This turns men from being victims to being actively engaged with life which (according to the tantric philosophy) is feminine in its very essence and should be penetrated full of awareness, love and power. Understanding this aspect of masculinity a man will become strong and very attractive to women. This kind of deep inner strength will also make the man more virile and able to last longer in bed. Step 3: Understanding Energy To be able to last longer in bed, it is imperative to understand energy flow and how to guide the energy flows. This is a vast topic and we will only touch briefly upon it here to whet your appetite. There are many different systems and methodologies you can use, but as I am a practitioner of Tantra, I can tell you how the knowledge of these energies are structured in the tantric system. The human being contains all kinds of different energies ranging from vital energies, sexual energies, psychic energies etc. These energies are categorized into earth energies, water energies, fire energies, air energies and ether energies. The focal points of each of these energies are placed in energetic vortexes (called chakras) placed along our spine. The idea is that there are certain lovemaking positions correlated with each of these chakras and that these lovemaking positions should be made in the right order. This will channel the energies correctly, prolong the lovemaking act for hours and lead to deep states of bliss and ecstasy. If you study this knowledge it is needless to say that your partner will love you for it! I deeply recommend a study of the chakra system as it is explained in the ancient philosophies of Yoga and Tantra. This will shed a lot of light on the energetic structures. Conclusion This article gave a broad overview of different approaches to be able to last longer in bed. The article touched upon why it is necessary to develop sensitivity, masculinity and to have a basic knowledge of the energetic system. We hope it offered you new angles in your search to last longer in bed! The Article Author: Hans Havasi leads a course and retreat center in Copenhagen,Denmark. He has taught Yoga and Tantra for many years and has extensive experience in sexual education and personal development. Please visit our site to learn more about how to last longer in bed. Hans also makes tantra music for meditation and lovemaking. |
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